I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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