it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
