I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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