he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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