pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
