I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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