I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
