My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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