im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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