I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
