I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize