tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize