We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize