i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
