If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
