Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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