my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
