Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
