Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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