i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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