I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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