you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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