Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
