i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
