Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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