he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
