Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
