Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
