where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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