Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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