There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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