I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
