i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
