Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
