i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
