Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
