I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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