Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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