Do you still have your period?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
