Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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