You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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