Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just had sex on a roof
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
