i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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