were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
