i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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