At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
