you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
