Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
