Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio