she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.