why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
