i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...