At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
