i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
