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Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
