Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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