I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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