I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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