he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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