and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
