I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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