the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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