No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ttyl tear gas
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
