i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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