As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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