New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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