Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
