if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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