Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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