summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
