WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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