I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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